Prepare the Space: Sometimes Making Space Means Creating Distance
There are seasons when creating more space in your life doesn’t mean adding something new.
Sometimes it means stepping back.
Sometimes it means saying no.
Sometimes it means creating a little more distance between yourself and the people, situations, expectations, or responsibilities that are consuming more of your energy than you can continue to give.
And that can be hard.
Especially when you care.
We can easily convince ourselves that creating distance means we’re being selfish, uncaring, unavailable, or even disloyal. We may feel responsible for how other people feel when we establish a boundary.
But healthy boundaries ask us to consider something different:
What happens when protecting your energy becomes part of how you care for yourself?
In Boundaries & Balance: Guide to Protecting Your Peace, I wrote about the importance of discerning when to engage and when to withdraw—particularly when it comes to our personal space, time, and energy.
Boundaries and Balance .pdf
That distinction matters.
Because distance and disconnection aren’t necessarily the same thing.
You can love someone and still need space.
You can care about a situation without taking responsibility for fixing it.
You can be supportive without becoming someone’s emotional container.
You can say, “I can’t do that right now,” without saying, “I don’t care about you.”
And sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for a relationship is stop trying to control its outcome.
The practice of non-attachment
One of the ideas I explore in Boundaries & Balance is Aparigraha, a yogic principle often translated as non-attachment or non-possessiveness.
For me, one of the most useful applications of this idea is recognizing the difference between caring and clinging.
We can become attached to people’s approval.
Attached to being needed.
Attached to keeping everyone happy.
Attached to an outcome.
Attached to the belief that if we just try harder, give more, explain better, or hold on tighter, we can make everything work.
But sometimes holding on tighter is exactly what is exhausting us.
The practice of non-attachment invites us to loosen our grip.
My book describes detachment as something that can help us establish boundaries without guilt or fear of loss. It also connects releasing unnecessary attachments with conserving our energy for what truly matters.
Boundaries and Balance .pdf
That doesn’t mean becoming cold.
It means becoming clear.
So where do you need a little healthy distance?
Maybe it’s a relationship where you’ve been giving more than you have.
Maybe it’s an expectation you’ve been carrying for years.
Maybe it’s a role you’ve outgrown.
Maybe it’s the constant availability you’ve convinced yourself everyone deserves from you.
Maybe it’s your phone.
Maybe it’s work.
Maybe it’s the need to explain yourself every time you make a decision.
Or maybe it’s something much more personal.
You don’t have to figure it all out today.
Start by noticing.
Where am I giving more energy than I actually have?
Where might a little healthy distance create more peace?
What do I need to protect right now?
These aren’t questions about becoming less loving.
They’re questions about becoming more intentional with the energy you have.
Because you only have so much time.
So much attention.
So much emotional capacity.
And making space isn’t always about finding more.
Sometimes it’s about stopping the unnecessary drain.
A final Glimmer
Healthy boundaries aren’t walls designed to keep everyone out.
Sometimes they’re doors.
They allow you to decide when to open, when to close, when to invite someone in, and when to step away.
And learning when to engage—and when to withdraw—can be part of creating a life that actually has room for you in it.
So today, ask yourself:
What would have more room to grow if I stopped giving my energy to what no longer needs it?
Maybe that’s where your next bit of harmony begins.
📖 From
Boundaries & Balance: Guide to Protecting Your Peace
This Gem is inspired by Chapter 4, “Boundaries through Yamas and Reiki Principles,” and Chapter 9, “Harnessing Aparigraha (Non-Attachment) and Reiki for Balance.”
